Sporks and Spaws

The utensil hybrid,
The ingenious spork,
The choice provision of the frugal,
A plastic saver, a money saver,
A statement of excellence,
A statement of irony,
Prongs too shallow to stab,
Tips too jagged to scoop,
Making the eater burn calories,
As he attempts to take them in,
Accompanied by a helpful napkin.
Able to wipe a whole corner of the mouth.
“Spork,” a term of generosity
The vocabulary of gratitude,
“A spork with my pork?
How thoughtful of you!”
The complimentary compliment,
That receives compliment upon compliment.

Slushy straws, another hybrid,
The half spoon/half straw, the spaw,
A miniature shovel,
Forgotten in the overflow,
But when down to the last inch,
Making its presence known,
Rearing its ugly head,
Good intentions gone bad,
Too small to lift a satisfying taste,
Too big to allow an adequate suction,
Would be moments of final satisfaction,
Actually moments of impossible labor,
Coaxing the mind to flip the device,
Irritating the lips in the attempt,
Turning joy into anger,
Causing a premature disposal,
Spawning a desire for scissors,
While snipping away at happiness.

Worldly Christianity,
Good intentions at little cost,
Popular for its novelty,
Useless in its practice,
Friend of light and darkness,
Of Talkative and By-ends,
Carnal affections under spiritual guise,
Ironic and ineffective,
Too shallow to stick,
Too porous to hold,
Accompanying cheap food,
Packaged with worthless companions,
A tool for drinking pleasure,
But a weapon for sucking joy,
Gratifying for a while,
Painful at the end,
Heaven’s heartbreak,
Hell’s hybrid.